You’re Sexy and YOU Know It!

(Okay, okay, even if you don’t KNOW it, read on)

Hello Ladies!

Quick exercise before we strut on in:

Raise your hand if…

  1. You think feeling “sexy” is an innate characteristic. However… nothing about it feels innate to you.
  2. You think feeling “sexy” can be an acquired characteristic. You’re just looking for some direction.
  3. You know “Sexy” is your middle name, and “Feeling” is your first.

If any of these “women” feel familiar, or you can recognize yourself somewhere in-between, I want to first express you’re not alone.

I also want to challenge you to think for a minute:

What would it feel like to have freedom to express fully?

If you’re anything like me, you think having that type of freedom would be invaluable!

So, I’ve got you!

Today I’m sharing tried and true strategies that I’ve used in my own dancing. You’re going to walk away knowing 5 tactics to get your sexy back (pun intended.)

1) Dress the Part:

“You’ve got that James Dean daydream look in your eye, and I got that red lip, classic thing that you like.” ~Taylor Swift

It’s no secret that how we look impacts how we feel, and by no means am I implying we need to “dress to the nine’s” on the daily, but am rather suggesting a little effort goes a long, long way.

Take it from Virginia, a long term members of our Women’s dance team; before every class you can find her prettying her pout with that day’s lipstick of choice. By the time she starts dancing, her mood is already warmed up.

2) Keywords:

Now that you look the part, you’ll want to start to focus your mind using a keyword. The purpose of a keyword is to provide you with inspiration and motivation. It can be almost anything!

Examples of a keyword could be ‘confident’ or ‘feminine’; it can even be the name of an alter ego, like Beyoncé had created with “Sasha Fierce”.

To use a keyword you just ask yourself:

“Am I moving in a confident way?”


“What we make this move look more feminine?”


“How would Sasha Fierce dance this?”

3) The Process:

“I woke up like this” is the new slogan promoting micro blading; a way to wake up without having to apply makeup. If this is new to you, basically it’s a huge trend right now where a cosmetic tattoo artist fills in the eyebrows to create the perfect arch.

So why am I talking about this?

Let’s go back to the slogan for a minute, do you in fact wake up like this after a micro blading treatment? Yes you do! But… if we dug a little deeper the fine print would read:

“I woke up like this because someone carefully tattooed my face, and now I no longer need makeup!” Voila!

My point is there is always a process behind everything. I’ve heard over the year’s students express, “I just can’t move my arms nicely” or “I’d love sexy legs, but I just don’t have them.” The solution is process, process, and process!

Your slogan should read: (Insert your name here) has ultra-feminine arm styling
Your fine print: (Insert your name here) has spent multiple hours learning the mechanics behind moving her arms, and now has ultra-feminine arm styling.

4) Partner Up:

Now we know we want to look the part, use our keywords, and develop the process, but how do we keep this going once it gets to a performance or competition?
Feeling sexy when we’re by ourselves is one thing but embodying that while playing to a crowd is quite another.

Often people say “I’ll emote once I get to the performance”, and to that I would say, “I can promise you this only works 1 out of 100 times (the odds are not in your favor).

On the day of performance you have adrenaline, stress, and many unknowns, so you want everything that you can practice in, to be practiced in.

If you can partner up and perform in front of a friend it helps alleviate the jitters so by the time you get to that big performance day, it’s doesn’t feel like your first rodeo.

5) Analytics, Be Gone:

A women’s brain is loud. We are the queens of multi-tasking, and it can be so very, very noisy in our heads. (A woman’s brain is also brilliant, but this is not my topic today)

Sometimes we need to shut of the analytics. Tell that friendly voice inside your head that it is “FEELING TIME”

Here’s how you play:

  • When you are practicing your hips, pause the technique and really allow yourself to feel your hips moving in rhythm.
  • If you have an arm movement that touches your body, turn up the senses by feeling the palm of the hand as it touches the skin.
  • Fun food example: When you have your favorite dish, eat it slowly. Turn off your phone, and turn up your sense of smell before you take a bite.

I hope you’ve found some helpful takeaways. Remember to have patience with yourself, focus on one thing at a time, and enjoy the process. As always, I’d love to hear what you’re trying out, and how it’s working for you!

Till next time,

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