Have you ever had that thought, “I should have this by now?”

Whether it’s remembering a pattern, identifying the music, or maybe keeping our darn head up; it’s easy to become impatient.  We usually identify patience as good, impatience as bad, but I propose it’s all about timing!

Come to think of it, I’m actually feeling a song coming on:

“To everything, turn, turn, turn…

There is a season, turn, turn, turn…” 

So, like the Byrds said, there is a season to be patient, and a season to be impatient.  What it comes down to is where in the stages of learning you are.  Let’s break it down, and diagnose when to apply patience and impatience, so it works for you, and not against!

The Initial Stage

Diagnosis: Patience

The Initial stage is when you’re first learning something new: a new step, a new technique, or body position for example. Think of it as the time when you’re gathering data.  You have to be meticulous, and patient not to rush through and miss important details.

Mantra for Initial Stage:  Keep calm and carry on.

The Awkward Stage

Diagnosis: Patience

Okay, so now you’ve made it to the awkward phase: Congratulations, and come on in!

This is not our most favorite stage to be in, but the silver lining is, now that you’ve gathered the data you can get to work. This diagnosis for this stage is big time patience! Give yourself grace, and put in the time.

Mantra for Awkward Stage:  This too shall pass.

The Conscious Stage –

Diagnosis Patience

Okay, so you no longer feel like Bambi when she first started to discover her legs, and you’ve got all the tools under your belt, worked through the kinks, and now you can do the skill, but it still requires concentration. It also requires… you guessed it, patience! This is the tipping point.  After this stage, you’re going to be a natural, honey!

Mantra:  I think I can, I think I can.

The Natural Stage –

Diagnosis: Impatience

You probably thought this diagnosis was never coming! Why here… Why?!?!

This is the stage where people tend to mellow out and slip into old habits. They’ve done all the legwork to be successful, been in the trenches, and now they’ve achieved that one perfect action – and then they want to relax?

No!

This is where you need to drill that new action and make yourself a pro at it! You’ve been patient now for three stages, time to kick it up a gear and make this natural stage last.

Mantra:  Started from the bottom, now we’re here.

So there you have it.  Next time you start to feel patient, or impatient identify what stage you’re at; are you on course, or do you need to adjust your sails?

As always, the best conversation happens in the comment section.  I want to know:  Are the stages of learning new to you?  Where do you find yourself becoming the most impatient?

Warmly,

Freebie: Grab our Guide to Effective Practices

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Dancing with your significant other is amazing; you always have a practice buddy, and each week you have designated time spent in one another’s arms.

On the flip side, it can also be a bit of a challenge.

As the honeymoon phase wears off, it’s easy to become frustrated and impatient with one another. Maybe it’s because thing’s don’t feel as great as they did on the lesson, or perhaps you both recall different versions of your Coach’s instructions.

Whatever the case is, in order to get back (or keep) that initial joy you shared, it’s essential to learn how to resolve conflicts within practices peacefully.

So, are you ready to get back the lovin’ feeling?

Thought so… Let’s go!

Picture this all too familiar scenario for couples (Guilty over here!):

You’re dancing your choreography and all of a sudden your partner comes to an abrupt stop. By the look on her face you know all too well it can’t be good, “You’re not leading me!” she says. Taken back he retorts, “While you’re not waiting for me TO lead you.”

Now, at this rate you can imagine the practice is going downhill fast, so before this gets uncomfortable, give this strategy a shot:

Step 1: Set a timer for 5 minutes. During those 5 minutes practice the way the Lead is suggesting (without complaint). At the end of the 5 minutes keep your conclusion to yourself.

Step 2: Repeat step 1, but this time for the 5 minutes practice the way the Follow is suggesting. Again, at the end of the 5 minutes keep your conclusion to yourself.

Step 3: Set a timer once more for 5 minutes. This time only give thought to your own dancing, and concentrate on what you need to improve.

Once you finish all three steps, evaluate the excercise. If you agree on what step felt best to you as a couple, fantastic! However, if you did not find a conclusion, then you are missing the information needed to make it work. Put what you are doing on hold, and get your Coach’s input on the next lesson.  This will save you frustration and prevent you from creating habits that hurt your dancing.

It’s very easy to take our dance partners for granted, but if as couple you adopt the mentality of “how can I improve myself?” you will preserve your dance relationships for years to come. Often, our expectations are unrealistic of our partner (more on this in future blogs), and the weight of those expectations can be crushing.

Think, how do you treat the men or women you dance with socially? Most likely, you show patience, encouragement, and positivity. Use that model as the standard for how you treat your significant other, and the changes and growth you will experience in your dancing will blow your mind.

As always I LOVE to hear what you think,  please share in the comments below how it goes when you try it out!

Ready for more practice tips? Grab our guide to effective practices here!

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Who wants to be better yesterday?

Raise your hand…

We all do!  It’s in our nature.  Goal setting and expectation management is important in your dancing.  It’s rare to enter anything without expectations, but it’s important to evaluate whether the belief systems of where you should be at are hurting or helping you accelerate towards that big goal.  Here are three tips to help newer dancers, and remind veteran dancers as well, how to enjoy and build on your dancing programs.

1. Position Yourself for the Win

2.Give Credit Where Credits Due

3.Go Big, Go Active

Let’s take a deeper look…

1) Position Yourself for the Win: In my first hot yoga class, I positioned myself at the back left corner of the room to be safe. I was new, nervous and hoped no one would see me.  At the time I didn’t realize that yoga turns in every direction, and for ½ the class I could see no one.  I was leading the group!

Dancing uses rotation. It may feel safe to position yourself in the back corners of the room, but the actual “safe zone” is in the middle closer to the front.  Plus, you’ll be able to see what the teacher is doing!

2) Give Credit Where Credits Due: We all want to feel confident and natural when we dance, and a lot of us when we’re learning something new only define success as when we obtain this “natural” stage. You’re correct in understanding that this is the ultimate goal, but keep in mind that this is only the final stage of your learning curve (stage 4). The problem with this expectation is that during the first three stages – initial, awkward, conscious – you still won’t feel natural! However, those stages leading up to that natural feeling are a big deal, have micro successes of their own, and should be celebrated!

Let’s imagine your friend started going to the gym with a goal of lifting 50 pounds. When they first came in they could lift 10 pounds, and now they’ve worked their way up to 25; their form is improving, muscles are building, but they still can’t lift the 50 pounds.

An utter failure, right?

Of course not!   We would never reason that way as an observer.  We would congratulate them on the 15 pounds they’ve built up to, and encourage them to keep working towards that “magic 50”.  The same goes for your dancing – natural is the goal, but all the steps leading up to it should be celebrated and acknowledged.

3) Go Big, Go Active: Initially, as you’re building up confidence in your dancing, it can be easy to shrink your body language and hesitate to take a step. However, this is going to make your life more difficult! Dancing requires continuous active movement. So by hesitating in order to be safe and make “the right move”, you’re actually losing the opportunity to do so.

You may be thinking – “Well, what if I do it wrong?”.  Of course, you will, sometimes! Mistakes are an essential part of learning. So relax in the fact that you will make errors (who doesn’t?), but you will learn faster if you take your space on the floor, and just go for it!  This is a double whammy because you will instill confidence and create a more natural feeling sooner! (Point #2)

I hope you’ve walked away with some fresh ideas on how to increase your productivity in dancing.  I’d love to know which problem you identify with the most, and which idea you’re most excited to try out!

Flirting with the idea of dance lessons? Try our free Dancing in the Kitchen tutorial from the comfort of your own home!

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Gent-le-man: A chivalrous, courteous and honorable man

Ballroom dancing seems to attract the type of man defined above… chivalrous, courteous, and honorable. When I swerved from Merriam Webster’s definition, and asked men how they would define a gentleman in their own words, I received responses such as, “stylish, polite, and self-controlled.” These characteristics sound great to me, and reminded me of how applicable they are to the Ballroom, and to partnerships. Some points will be blaringly obvious – look at them as gentle reminders, or pat yourself on the back if you’ve got them in natural use! Others, I hope, will inspire some light bulb moments of unique ways and behaviors that will have a lasting impression on the woman you are dancing with.

Let’s Waltz on in…

1. Hold the door open: Isn’t this the quintessential image that comes to mind when you’re picturing all thing’s “gentleman”? Now there may not be a lot of doors in the ballroom, but, let’s deconstruct this in a figurative sense. In its element, the concept comes down to manners, for example, the way you ask a lady to dance, the way you escort her on and off the floor, the niceties.

*Pointer:  If your method to connection is accomplished by giving the Lady “tips” about her dancing or patterns, this is a risky strategy, and I would suggest other methods.

• Keep your breath fresh – Always keep a pack of mint, or gum in your shoe bag. Watch onions and garlic on dancing nights.
• Deodorant – Another great thing to keep in your shoe bag. Its okay to apply, and slip away to reapply, when you’re dancing the night away!
• Wardrobe – Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable, confident, and stylish. Watch if clothes have been left sitting in the wash to long; once you start moving the scent will become more prominent.
• Keep a towel – It is natural to sweat – actually it’s encouraged! Carrying a hankie or Kleenex to stay fresh between the dances is a much better alternative than wiping it off with your hand -and then holding your partners.
• Wash your hands often – wash in-between putting on your shoes, sneezing, and snacking.

• Watch counting out loud – It’s okay to take your time to hear the music, and have the occasional count slip out when trying newer choreography, but as early as possible, try to nix this habit, so your partner can relax into dancing with you.
• Dance patterns you know well – When we dance we are in a constant state of development. Similar to construction, we lay the base, do the framing, add the fixings, and then reveal to public. Evaluate your patterns in the same methods – if you are laying the base, don’t open the doors to the public.

I hope you’ve got some gentle reminders, and new ideas to experiment with. Let me know what has worked for you, or what you’re most excited to try!

Until next time,

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“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

~ Socrates

Before we get back to the wisdom of Socrates, let me know if this has ever happened to you:

It’s seconds before you walk on the floor, you look the part, and you’ve put in the hours, but then it happens…The speed of your breath increases, your mind starts racing, and you are no longer in control of your body.

This is a scary place to be, and I imagine we’ve all experienced it to some extent, at one time or another. The GREAT news is, it doesn’t have to stay like this. Like Socrates said, change comes from building the new, which brings us to the topic of the day (and hopefully to your future training strategies):

KEYWORDS

Keywords are something I’ve used extensively throughout my own dancing. Initially, I used them unintentionally; the result was an increased awareness of my inabilities and a heightened stress level. It wasn’t until I read the book “Dance to Your Maximum”, by Maximiliaan Winkelhuis, that I finally understood how to use keywords to create successful and calm performances.

WHAT IS A KEYWORD?

A Keyword is a long lasting concentration point. It works by occupying your mind with a word of your choosing, that creates the right tone necessary to dance. It follows the fact that “physical activity always happens after mental activity.” By default, the presence and positive habit of using keywords eliminate wandering minds, and dreadful thoughts.

When used correctly, keywords follow this cycle:

•  Pick a keyword, and create a positive habit by practicing it during each training session.
• Before you dance use the keyword to tone your body, and prepare your mind.
• With repetition, your Autonomous Nervous System (ANS) relaxes because it identifies the keyword as a habit.
•  Ultimately, you create better performances and more enjoyment.

According to Maximilian, there are 4 ways to pick a keyword, let’s check them out:

1. Compensate a Weakness: When choosing a keyword based off of a weakness, you want to make sure you have overcome this weakness on multiple occasion. For example, if your keyword was “soft knees” in Cha Cha, you would want to make sure you have been able to step on a soft knee more than a couple times in practice. A keyword cannot create a new skill, but if you have proven you can accomplish this weakness a few times, the keyword would make you more aware of your newly mastered skill.
2. Accentuate a Strength: If you go this route for choosing a keyword, it can immediately give you a positive result. By focusing on something you do really well, your A.N.S relaxes because it knows you’ve accomplished it. Let’s say you have an incredible brushing action in rumba, your keyword could be “brush the floor” or “grounded”.
3. Accentuate the Character of the Dance: Choosing a keyword by this route can be a good option if you’re looking to enhance the story of the dance, rather than just the technique. The character helps you create the feeling of what you’re dancing. For example, Rumba could be sensual, Swing could be playful, and Tango could be dominant or powerful.
4. Accentuate a Fitting Part of your Personality: This one takes a twist on the last one. For this keyword, tune into what part of your personality corresponds well with the dance. For example: if you are sophisticated and smooth, try those words out in Foxtrot. Are you playful or energetic? If so try it on for Swing! Are you cool or strong? If that’s you, try one of those keywords for Tango. One disclaimer, you are consciously choosing the characteristic that you are tuning into, it does not mean this characteristic defines you. For example, we may know what arrogance feels like and could benefit from this as a keyword in Tango, this does not mean you are an arrogant person.

So, we’ve covered what a keyword is, why you need to start implementing them in your dancing today, and how to choose one that enhances your performance and decreases your stress. (Yes, please!)

In upcoming blog articles we’re going to talk more about making keywords effective for you, but for now, start playing around with choosing a keyword for each dance. Remember, you’ve got to give it a fair shot, and I’d recommend sharing it with your instructor to help you in the selection process, and to keep you on track.

Like always I LOVE to hear if you’ve tried this out, and how you’ve found it! Feel free to share this article with someone you know who is wanting to up their performance game.

Until next time,

Freebie: Click here for our event preparation checklist

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“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream another dream.”
C.S Lewis

Do you know your BIG goal?
That goal that energizes and inspires your soul, while at the same time has you a little scared (the good ones always do, don’t they)?

That’s the goal I’m talking about!

Today, I’m sharing 4 tips to take that goal from wish to reality in your dancing.
Here we go!

1. The Big Goal – Identify & Commit:

I want you to dream a little here (okay, I want you to dream a lot!), what gets you the MOST excited when you picture where your dancing can go?

Is it…

• The goal of being able to dance to any piece of music effortlessly, and having a lineup of eager partners out the door…
• The goal of feeling uninhibited and completely confident to express…
• The goal of being in shape and having your clothes fit perfectly…
• The goal of being a rock star at a competition and taking home the trophy…
• The goal of romantic date nights and an improved connection with your partner…

Whatever resonates with you, on the list or not, write it down.
Once you identify your goal, document it!

2. Break it on Down:

Now that you’ve set a goal worth planning for, we need to break it down in order to make it happen. We’re looking for all the little steps that need to be accomplished along the way, in order to get you to where you want to go… Oh, the places you’ll go!

Below are two mini examples of how you can set micro goals to achieve the macro goal.

Macro Goal: Become a Great Social Dancer

Micro Goals:

• Attend a party.
• Ask 3 new partners to dance.
• Make a note of what worked, and what needs some work, and then discuss this with your instructor.

Macro Goal: Attend a Competition

Micro Goals:

• Perform your dancing at a party to get performance experience.
• Get a costume.
• Become “too legit to quit” your goal by booking the competition you want to attend!

3. Create Systems/Habits for Success:

Isn’t it always the case that once you put a goal in place everything seems to come along to challenge it? The key here is predicting the obstacles before they come up (as they will), so you’re equipped to deal with them.

For example:

• Not having anything to wear: Have an outfit for dance that makes you feel comfortable and confident then put it aside. It will remove the decision making process on the day of your lesson, and you’ll feel at peace because you already know that you feel good when you wear it.
• Running late and feeling hungry: In your shoe bag pack away some trail mix, or granola bars, so you can be productive on your lessons by fending off those distracting hunger pains.
• Loss of motivation/general discouragement: Have an accountability partner who knows your big goal, and knows your reasons behind it. Call them to cheer you on in the not so glamorous moments of the journey.

4. Reward Yourself:

Dancing is a continual process, and the list of things you can work on is never-ending, but when you hit those micro and macro goals, CELEBRATE! You’ve made a conscious and brave decision to invest in yourself, and push past those comfort zones, which is incredible! Take a moment, do a happy dance, and savor what you’ve accomplished.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this goal setting topic. Like always I LOVE to hear what you’re finding challenging, what’s working for you, and what your greatest takeaway is.

Till next time,

Action Step: Click here for our free Dancing in the Kitchen Tutorial, and start hitting those goals today!

The post Taking your Goal from Wish to Reality in 4 Simple Steps appeared first on VS Dance Club.

Wanna become a great dancing in half the time, and have a blast while you do it?

(I see you nodding yes over there!)

Although I do not have magic beans that morph you into Baryshnikov…

I can offer 5 easy (but not effortless) strategies that will have you dancing faster, looking better, and having more fun if you choose to try them out.

Ready to dive in?

1) Carve Out Your Time:

Now I’m going to guess one of the reasons you started dancing was to invest in yourself and your relationships; choosing this is an already amazing accomplishment and I’m over cheering you on!

So, to truly value that important investment you’ve decided to make give yourself 10-15 minutes before the lesson to arrive. To warm up your feet, spend time with your dance partner, come up with questions to ask your instructor, and enjoy this time you’ve given yourself.

2) Getting Social With It:

Ballroom dancing is SOCIAL, think about it, you’re never alone. Social dance parties are the perfect arena to sharpen your skills. When you go to a party you get to dance for 90 minutes to a variety of dances, with multiple partners… How is that for developing your leading and following?

3) The Right Equipment:

Just like a golfer needs the right club to land that whole in one, so to a dancer needs the right equipment. Dance shoes have flexible soles that make it easy to train your feet in ways regular shoes cannot. You’ll be twisting and turning in no time!

4) To the Ball:

Performances and Competitions give the inspiration to keep an open-mind towards the possibilities of dancing. Whether you’re a spectator or participant, just watching great dancing will accelerate your growth. It works in a similar way to learning a language; it’s much easier to pick it up when you visit the country. If you have the opportunity to immerse yourself in the world of dance you will reap the rewards.

5) Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About:

Your instructor is there to WORK WITH YOU, and it’s super important to know you can chat with them. You’re now in a collaboration to help you accomplish those big, awesome, goals you have set out to do!

So what do you think? I’d ask you to trust me on this, but I much rather you decide for yourself! As always, I LOVE to hear your feedback, what’ve you tried and how its worked for you!

Till next time,

Want to dance now? Our free dance tutorial is available right here!

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